This feels just like another heartbreak. This heart aches. Aching from knowing the truth Truth hurts but does it have to hurt this way Indescribable pain. It's just that I'm getting cleverer each day To recognize the signs earlier than before What do people take me for? A fucking child. Nah it's nothing Nah you're overreacting Do I what I feel not matter? For everything that I feel, being dismissed. It hurts like a heart break. lying and not disclosing the truth are the same offence, we've agreed. You did both. And I am still tolerating. and today I just remembered I hate being cold. Because that what heart breaks feel like cold. and empty. I can't tolerate neither. ***
When someone passed He left the world for the better But It wasn't necessarily better for the person(s) he left behind The vacant bed The vacant position The empty seat Was meant for the person But He was no longer here. It was so much harder for the person(s) he left behind What do I do with these memories? This pain apparently took so long to heal Don't get me started with the regrets It pains my heart so much to even think about it. How could I leave you that night? How could you leave me so fast? Call me I promise to answer it this time Call me I promise I'll talk more Call me....... and if i decline, I promise I'll call you back this time.
I want to run away. As far as I can, from everything and everyone. But I'm bounded and I can't untie myself from these bonds. Almost two weeks had passed, I can only picture myself standing there, still, with the breeze hits my face. Eyes that no longer have any tears to cry, and my hair is blowing because I finally have the will to wash them, and lips that no longer have to explain. I hug myself because It is too cold. I look in front to an open space, to a space which has no limits and boundaries. One step away from ultimate freedom. But there are responsibilities that holding me - from the back. The space is serene with many possibilities. It speaks to you if you listen carefully enough. I can't wait to be in the place of my dreams, one step away from an ultimate freedom, the space that's serene but gives you strength, to step forward or look behind. - April 2022.
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