Ed Oked

I want to run away. As far as I can, from everything and everyone. But I'm bounded and I can't untie myself from these bonds.  Almost two weeks had passed, I can only picture myself standing there, still, with the breeze hits my face. Eyes that no longer have any tears to cry, and my hair is blowing because I finally have the will to wash them, and lips that no longer have to explain.  I hug myself because It is too cold. I look in front to an open space, to a space which has no limits and boundaries. One step away from ultimate freedom. But there are responsibilities that holding me - from the back. The space is serene with many possibilities. It speaks to you if you listen carefully enough.  I can't wait to be in the place of my dreams, one step away from an ultimate freedom, the space that's serene but gives you strength, to step forward or look behind.  - April 2022.

 When someone passed He left the world for the better But It wasn't necessarily better for the person(s) he left behind The vacant bed The vacant position The empty seat Was meant for the person But He was no longer here. It was so much harder for the person(s) he left behind What do I do with these memories? This pain apparently took so long to heal Don't get me started with the regrets It pains my heart so much to even think about it. How could I leave you that night? How could you leave me so fast? Call me I promise to answer it this time Call me I promise I'll talk more Call me....... and if i decline, I promise I'll call you back  this time.

 A B no, it's A. C told me it is B Who's C in here. Where? In my head Head is sick Telling tales Kill it What about let it kill you?

Wasn't supposed to ask for bigger things in life If your hands are small To carry But regardless the heart is small too And heavy But still, I'd carry. Love that i don't wish to be forced into But the loss that I could not afford to have Which one is heavier and difficult I have yet to decide. Until then, I'd carry this small heavy heart and let time (and tears) provide ease. eventually.

Harini aku mimpi kamu lagi Your laughter, goodness gracious, I heard them loud and clear in my unfortunate dream. It made me think of you again- thinking what was there left for me to keep dreaming, to keep thinking of you. It's inevitable, never I asked for it since I've let you go. Since I've decided to make myself happy again. I promised, I already put you to an end. But you keep coming back, bet you didn't know about it but you did. But did you? You're in my dreams You were so happy, we were too happy. Goodness gracious. How unfortunate it was only a mere dream. Sweet dreams to you, dear you. I hope your dreams never bring you pains Like mine did. Mine did.

i think I wanna hurt myself........... why can't I be enough? Why can;t i be good? which one hurts the most the knife or the nails Imma keep my nails longer or simply words does it hurt? it has to hurt to let myself learn to be good and enough